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Dekhiye Mujhe saat baje............🍭🍭🍭🍭


"Dekhiye Mujhe saat baje wali gadi pakadni  hai,
 kya mai aapke kheto ke beech me se nikal kar ja sakta hu, bahar-bahar gya to gadi chut jayegi."
"ha-ha, jarur nikaliye |
 agar mere khet ke rakhwale kutte ne dekh liya to aapko 06:00 baje wali gadi bhi mil sakti hai."

Ek dehati mumbai............🍭🍭🍭🍭

"Ek dahati mumbai ghumne ke bad gaon wapas pahuncha,
 to logo ne use gher liya aur puncha-"mumbai kaisi hai ?
 uske bare me batoo."
 wah bola-mumbai to bahut acchi hai per waha ki sarkar badi kanjoos hai..
 Ek driver ki tankhwah bachane ke liye bus ke uper bus rakhkar chalati hai."

मम्मी बोली
तू किसी सादी ब्याह में नाचता क्यों नही है ।

              मैं बोला,,,,,,,,,,
              नाचती  तो  लड़कियां है ॥
हम  तो 'भोले'"🔱🔱🔱🔱"  के भक्त है ' पी के तांडव करते है । । ⚽⚽⚽💃💃💃💃

Jab se Rs. 500and Rs. 1000 ke ..........

Jab se Rs.500 and Rs.1000 ke note band huye hai
Kuch BJP bhakt to itne kathore ho gye hai.....
Train me musaphir se maine kaha,
Bhai is saal sardi bahut hai.

Bhai bhadak gya aur bola-
Congress ke samay nhi thi kya ?? 😌😌😌😌

Soniya Rahul se : Putra tujhe yaha se............

Soniya Rahul se: Putra tujhe yaha se Jalandhar jane me 1 din laga aur wapas ane me 3 din lage,
Wo bhi nai Car se aisa kyo ??
..........
..........
Rahul: Ye Car banane wale bhi pagal hai !
Aage jane ke liye 4 gear banaye hai, aur wapas aane ke liye ke liye kewl 1 hi rivers gear banaya hai !
Soniya Behos !! 😠😠😠😠

Pareshan Makaan Malik.......😠

Pareshan makaan malik- "Tum mujhe aadha kiraya de do, baki aadha kiraya mai maaf kar dunga yani bhul jaynga."
Kirayedaar- "Sujhaav to accha hai, lekin mamla barabar hona chahiye, isliye aadha kiraya aap bhul jaye aur aur aadha mai bhul jata hu."😠😠😠😠😠😠

Santa Ko Interview.........😠

Santa ko interview me bulaya gya aur kaha gya, "Dekhiye phale mahine hum aapko Rs.400 monthly denge, agle mahine Rs. 500 ker diye jayege,"
Santa uth khada hua aur bola, "Thik hai sir tab mai agle mahine hi kam per aunga."

Driver Ne Jab...........😠

Driver ne jab chalte-chalte dekha ki car bandn ho gai hai to use sandhe hua ki kahi petrol samapt to nahi ho gya.
Usne utar kar tanki ka dhakan khola, Andhere me kuch dikhai nhi diya, Usne machise jala kar roshni karni chai....
Bechara driver ! Vaise bhaut accha driver tha.

                      Question Paper m ek question the………..

          Question Paper m ek question the – Teen hajar rupaye Sahukar Five

          percent salana ki byaj dar  se deta hai, to teen saal bad usko kul kitne

          rupaye vapas milenge ?

          Student – yah to dene wale par depend karta hai ki wah kitna dega.




                  Doctor student k check -up krne k bad............. 

         Doctor student k check-up karne k bad – Dekho is samay tumko bilkul                 bhi

          bukhar nhi hai.

         Student – Lekin doctor sahab 10 baje to aa jayega na .

         Doctor – Lekin tumko kaise pata .

         Student – Us samay mera school khulta hai na Doctor sahab.




          Ramesh ek road kinare lage patthar ki taraf isara krte huye----



        Ramesh ek road kinare lage patthar ki taraf isara krte huye----

        Pahale yaha likha tha Allahabad 10 km hai aur 15 km likha hai.


        Pappu – Bilkul sahi likha yaar Ramesh , garmi k mausam  m chije pfailati  

       hai. Aaj kal to gharmi ka hi mausam hai, road 10 km se phail kar 15  

       km  ho gayi.

Prathmic Chikitsa ki seminar me doctor ne company ke employee se pucha-“yadi tumhe kutte katne ke pagalpan ka rog  ho to to tum kya karoge ?”
Employee ne dhire se uttar diya-“Mai apne supervisor ko katunga.”

Jailor-“Wada karo ki ab tum jeb nahi katoge.”
Apradhi-“Yeh nahi ho sakta.”
Jailor-“Kyo nhi ho sakta ?”

Apradhi-“Kyoki mai DARJI ka kam karta hu.”
👾👾👾👾👾👾

Ek admi ne judge se................

Ek admi ne judge se apni gharwali ko talak dene ka karan batate hue kaha- “Meri  gharwali ne sadi ke bad se ab tak kewal ek beti ko janam diya hai. Magar meri prabal iccha hai ki mai ek bete ka baap banu.” Is par patni jor se boli “judge sahab ! agar mai inke bharose rahti to yeh beti bhi nhi hoti !”
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Pota,"Dada ji,aap teen.............

Pota, "Dada ji, aap teen tarah ke chasme kyo rakhte ho ?"
Dada ji, "Dekhne ke liye."
Pota, "Kaise ?"
Dada ji, "Ek chasme se dur ka dekhta hu. dusre se paas ka dekhta hu. tisre chasme se in dono chasme ko dekhta hu."



Jyotishi, "Aapke bhagya ka..............

Jyotishi, "Aapke bhagya ka sitara unchai par hai. Jaldi hi aapke ghar me badi daulat aane wali hai. aapne lotory ya satta lagaya hai kya ?"
Grahak,"(Sochte hue) Abhi do din hue, maine pachase hazar ka jiwan bima karaya hai."😎😎😎

Chhota baccha-Mummi tumne kaha........

Chhota baccha – Mummi tumne kaha tha ki pariyon k pankh hote h, aur vo ud sakti h.
Maa – Ha beta kaha tha.
Chhota baccha – Kal rat papa aaya ko kah rhe the ki wah to pari h. wah kab udegi mammi?
Maa –Subaha hote hi ud jaayegi beti.

Ek hathi ne jeevan me............. 

Ek hathi ne jeevan me pahali bar chuhe ko dekha………
Hathi ne chuhe se puchha tum kaun ho?
Chuha – Mai chuha hu.
Hathi – tumhari umra kitni h?
1 saal – chuhe ne kaha
Hathi – yaar umra to meri bhi ek saal h, par tum to
Bahut chhote ho.
Chuha- yaar m 3-4 din se beemar chal rha hu.

 Ek sahab ne dost............

Ek sahab ne dost ko bataya ki aaj pahali bar aalarm ghadi se meri aankhe khuli .
Dost ne puchha kase?
A admi – meri wife  ne ghadi mere sir par de mara tha.

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